To be honest, I’m not doing well. Before when I used to live in my hometown, I would spend days just lying in bed all morning, only eating one meal a day, just be on my computer focused in my hobbies. And I thought that maybe, if I survived that, this would be the same.
But Depression isn’t the same as this.
Some days are better then others, and I don’t know what I would do without the wonderful support of my boyfriend.
I’ve tried getting into new hobbies, even bought a new video game that I had been looking forward to playing for a while (and since I don’t own a switch, I got the next best game to scratch that Animal Crossing like itch, Dragon Quest Builders 2 for the PS4)
I actually highly recommend that game for anyone who is into a nice plot, cute building mechanics, and fans of Minecraft. This is pretty much just anime Minecraft, with designs by Akira Toyriama of Dragon Ball fame.
I’ve also taken the time to start working on a project, that I’m not going to spoil right now. 😉 But it’s giving me a chance to try writing something I’ve never tried before, and it’s stretching my creative muscles and allows me to pay homage to my favorite things.
But the bad brain days are happening more and more, I keep feeling useless, and that everything I do is pointless. There are days where I want to try something, like drawing or playing games, but nothing is fun. Not even eating or drinking is appeasing.
Though during this stay-at-home, it was recently my boyfriend’s birthday, and originally I had so much planned, but because of the world being what it is, everything sort of went out the window. Instead I gave him a weekend of whatever he wanted to do, and whatever he wanted to eat (I even ordered door-dash from one of his favorite places) and since his birthday was during the week itself, I made sure to bake brownies while he was gone to surprise him when he got home from work (his workplace is essential)
There are the good days, and there are the really bad days. I’m at least getting better at recognizing when my brain isn’t doing well, but it doesn’t make life easier.
I hope everyone else is having a better time with this then I am, and remember that we may be isolated, but we are always an internet family. We are all connected far more then other pandemics our world history. And we need to be there for each other in this time.
I love all of you.
-Michelle C. Light